When I first started getting ready for the Pineapple Man I was really excited and positive. I had over four months to get ready, I had a plan, and I had a goal. As I get closer to the triathlon I struggle more and more with positivity in my workouts. Don't get me wrong, I'm still super pumped for the race. I just feel less and less ready.
I don't use headphones while I work out. It's not because I don't like to listen to music, I just like the fact that I can't distract myself with noise. I exercise because I want to enjoy it not so I can zone out until it's over. I realize most people are exactly the opposite. It's just a preference thing. While I get the advantage of working out in peace without distracting noise I also get another side effect. I'm alone with my thoughts however good or bad they may be.
With over four months of training time ahead of me I felt really good about the possibilities and my potential. As I get closer to race time negative thoughts start to creep in. "Did you really think you could be a triathlete?" "Your knees can't handle this." "You're never going to be able to run over three miles after biking for an hour." "There is no wall to hang on to in the river, you might drown." "Just cut the workout short, this can be an easy day."
It's difficult to battle those ideas. I have to look back at my progress. I've cut 20 seconds off my swim time. I don't feel like I'm going to drown any more at the pool. I'm getting more comfortable on the bike. I wouldn't say runs are great, but they are less painful than they've ever been. I know I put too much pressure on myself to do well. I just feel like I have a lot to prove to myself.
This week is focused on bike, run, and positive self talk. If I don't start replacing the negative ideas with positive ones it won't be my physical fitness that holds me back from doing my best. Of course I'm not going to finish first, but I'm going to finish with a big smile on my face.
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